If you’re the kind of person who likes to hobnob with artists and actors, who likes to bid on contemporary art, and who has a fair bit of discretionary income, then come out to the BOMB Gala on Friday. It’s the only place in town where you can get a Wade Guyton print and take a selfie with Wallace Shawn.
Of course not everyone can make the Gala. For the rest of us, there’s the first official After-Party. (Maybe not the first. Paul Morris may have hosted one back in the day.) We have everything a proper after-party needs:
- Free champagne
- Tiki decor
- DJs playing 100% vinyl. And what DJs! We have Damian Manire, Lanny Jordan Jackson, & Jessi Olsen.
- Confetti cannons
- Cheap drinks
- Bathroom mural of the Wu-Tang Clan
The whole thing is hosted by Cy Gavin, Lindsay Howard, Mieke Chew, & Andrew Durbin, in a secret space under Tropical 128 in the LES (map). Tickets are only $10, with the catch that you have to pay in advance. So get a ticket, put on your best outfit, and we’ll see you Friday night.
Buy tickets | Facebook event | Full details
For the true believers who make it to 4am, maybe an IHOP run?
The best parts about finishing Conversation Sparks? Realizing I could plan the launch party. Mark your calendars! This will be a hybrid trivia contest, scavenger hunt, literary mingle, and straight-up party.
Conversation Sparks: Wine, Writers’ Secrets, & the World’s Best Small Talk
Wednesday, April 15th, 7:30pm at Greenlight Bookstore
I’m transforming the bookstore into a social puzzle with trivia, secrets, and prizes hidden among the stacks. (The wine will out in the open.) There will be surprises throughout the night, all ensuring you will leave 8% more interesting and armed with the best conversation starters in the entire world.
Map | Facebook Event
And if you’re thinking, “Ryan, I want to pre-order your book before it arrives on April 7th. What should I do?” Glad you asked. I recommend calling your local indie and pre-ordering it through them. (If you have Amazon gift cards, here’s their link.)
Get your best shirt pressed, your high heels polished, and your conversational bon mots ready: The Mingle is this Thursday at the Tribeca Grand. (RSVP at Flavorpill.) Jason Diamond and I will be playing our favorite summer songs and Atavist Books will be providing (some of) the drinks. A little preview:
A special thanks to Halimah & Ben from Electric Literature. They’re like Lenten cardinals, but instead of vespers they dispense 100% PARTY VIBES.
See you there.
The Mingle III
Thursday, July 25th / 6pm @ The Tribeca Grand
2 Avenue of the Americas between White & Walker
Presented by Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Flavorpill, & Electric Lit
So! The first time Jason Diamond and I threw The Mingle, our “party for no reason,” Lolita bar told us it was their best weeknight ever. The second time, we packed The Dalloway to capacity–fun for those inside, unfortunate for friends stuck outside. This time we’re bringing The Mingle to a larger venue, with free drinks courtesy of Atavist Books. There will be excellent music, balloons, and several hundred of your closest friends.
The Mingle III
Thursday, July 25th / 6pm @ The Tribeca Grand
2 Avenue of the Americas between White and Walker
RSVP for preferred entry
Presented by Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Electric Literature and Flavorpill
Hosted by Jason Diamond and Ryan Chapman
(We recommend RSVP’ing early.)
Nothing rings in the new year like blasting Prince while 150 friends drunkenly carouse around, right? Right. Except this will in all likelihood be the last New Year’s Eve, what with all the Mayan soothsaying and whatnot.
So this December 31st we’re pulling out all the stops to throw the best NYE party ever. (Better than the time I fell into a glass table in 2008? Yes. Better than wrapping people in holiday lights on the dancefloor in 2010? Way better.)
There will be: free champagne. Top hats. Togas. Confetti. Dancing. Music. Togas. Prizes.
We’re even doing tickets this year to guarantee our friends and most attractive strangers get in first.
Bar Reis, 375 Fifth Ave
Park Slope, Brooklyn
$10 advance, $20 door
FULL INFO & TICKETS
Some of the music you’ll hear:
The Eventbrite link will have all the info you need. But yes, there’s a Facebook page too.
I have been to several holiday parties in New York. Specifically party by and for people in media. I have seen a five-tier eggnog fountain, and I have drunk from its bounty. I have played Wii on a giant projected screen in Dumbo. I have seen madras in the winter.
Mistakes, there have been a few. But let my learning experience be your handy guide to this December’s rounds of booze-soaked merriment.
- Eat a healthy lunch. You’re going to be drinking whatever they serve you, and you know this. Don’t pretend you’re “sticking to red wine tonight.” If you end up at a second or third soiree, and they’ve got punch, you’re going to end up drinking punch. Prepare your body for this alcoholic clusterfuck by eating some greens at lunch. Get your nutrients in before destroying everything else.
- Be Buzz Lightyear. Not Drunk Lightyear. When you arrive, polish off two drinks in quick succession, then eat an hors d’oeuvre. Ride out the buzz, prolong the buzz. Do not shoot past it and get drunk. That’s when the bad things happen.
- One Free Pass. Actually, you’re allowed to be drunk at one of these. Just not your company’s. Going to some startup’s party in Chelsea? And you’re a friend’s +1? And they’re playing Girl Talk? AND they have that weird small-batch gin from Brooklyn? Get drunk. Talk to everyone. Dance like an idiot.
- Every party has sliders. Right? Every single one. Mini cheeseburgers make a terrific dinner.
- It isn’t Friday. The holiday party season has a curious effect, like a Magritte painting, of reversing the normal weekend/weekday routine. You drink all week and then do nothing on Saturday and Sunday. It’s fun to sip champagne on some office building’s rooftop at 1am on a Thursday, but remember: you have to go to work in 7 hours. I recommend buying a case of Vitamin Water. Drink one before you pass out and you’ll be fine. And if you’re lucky enough to have a surprise +1 at your “after-after-party,” be polite and offer her one too. Note: if you get the Facebook flavor “Connect,” do not make a joke. It will be lame. Trust me.
- One eggnog. You’re allowed one. If you drink more than that you may as well be dipping a pancake in Johnnie Walker.
- Genius idea! Dip a pancake in Johnnie Walker. Does it taste amazing? Let me know.
- There’s a reason the back of most business cards is blank. When you meet someone, you’ll probably exchange cards. Quick! Before tomorrow’s hangover erases all the salient details, write on the back of her card the pertinent details. She told you about that cool new Michel Gondry website, and a new bar in Park Slope, and…
- Dancing on desks. For some reason, any holiday party with a person dancing on a desk becomes instant lore. I’m not sure why. Most desks are quite sturdy, so there’s not much danger of falling. If you’re feeling it, go ahead and jump on something elevated. Move your butt a little bit. Yell, “I wish Andre 3000 was Santa Claus!” Instant hero of the party. (You’re welcome.)
- Gaga Bingo. You will hear more Lady Gaga this month than a dozen Sweet 16 parties. Accept it. Do what I do and try to play off of her insane persona. Need an opening line for that someone you’ve had your eye on? Approach him or her and say, “Isn’t this the video where Gaga rides a white tiger into a giant armpit made of Chanel bags?”
- Don’t “network.” Socialize, yes. Networking, no. You know the difference.
- Crashproof. If you’re crashing a party, and the jig is up, say this: “You caught me. I’m on unemployment, and I’m so tired of sitting around the apartment all day. At the same time, I have been volunteering a lot. Man I hope Obama extends benefits; it would suck if John Boehner got his way.” Now your host is talking about Obama, and you’ve elicited some sympathy. Another drink?
That should cover the basics. Good luck out there.
…Because it’s been road tested. After two epic New Year’s Eve parties at Bar Reis, I took a year off. Then Daft Punk, Kanye West, and Girl Talk all released records in the same month, and the circumstances pretty much demand a champagne-soaked Brooklyn fête.
So we’re doing it again. More confetti, more free drinks, and a few surprises in the works. It will be, informally, a masquerade ball. (I’ll provide the masks, so don’t worry about that.)
Bar Reis, 375 5th Ave Brooklyn NY
Dec. 31st, 9:30pm. $10.
I’ll be resurrecting my fledgling DJ career as G-G-G-GHOST! for the occasion, and inviting some friends to assist. You can expect:
Daft Punk “Derezzed”
Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith “Not in Love”
Chromeo feat. Ezra Koenig “I Could Be Wrong”