A Few Million-Dollar #Menswear Ideas

I’ve been too busy lately to follow up on these business-exploding brainstorms. Have at ’em, internet. May you make yourself a small fortune.

Redacted NorthWestern Wear
Buy ’em in bulk at the university bookstore, scratch out the pesky suffix, call it the first drop of a new Baby Kimye line. Charge $600 so the Pyrex kids know it’s legit.

In the spirit of the hardworking polymaths of Been Trill, this is a limited run of Army surplus khakis with New York Mets logos screenprinted on the right thigh. Not to be confused with Beer Trill, my diffusion line of luxury koozies.

wooster-shirtSoho Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo
Yo-yos. But, you know, with camouflage on them or something.

Wooster Shirt
High-quality cotton T’s with streetwear photos of the King of the Streetwears. Scroll the blogs in the AM, print the freshest snaps, and hawk them on Prince St. by noon. Ideally you’d be selling whatever Mr. Wooster wore yesterday. (You could try it with whatever he’s wearing today, but then the universe would explode.)

John Deere x Mark McNairy
If APCarhartt was the missing drill bit in your sartorial toolbox, this collabo is the genetically-modified Monsanto seeds blowing onto your property and buffeting your crop yields. (I think that’s how farming works? It’s certainly how mixed metaphors work.) These 6140R tractors are decked out with 150-hp engines, GS3 Command Center, the famous Triple-Link Suspension Axle, and the coup de grâce: a 5ft-high, 2ft-round bobble-head antenna of Mr. John Deere himself wearing the traditional gold and green mesh hat. €12,650, exclusively at Très Bien. (10% discount for non-VAT customers.)

It’s how both Ralph Lauren and Band of Outsiders got started. Clearly ties = menswear empire.

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