Don’t Smooth Jazz Yourself

Some new slang to get you through the fall parties.

Smooth Jazz, v. – to bore a person in a low, monotonous voice. “Gabe? The new intern? Totally smooth jazzed me at the holiday party.” (Noun form: The Quiet Storm, as suggested by John Chapman [no relation].)

German Techno, n. – someone who is only tolerable when they are freely dispensing Grade A drugs. (Suggested by Dominic Rushe) “Every time I go drinking with Frank he sticks me with the bill. Total German Techno. But if he’s hosting one of his New Year’s parties, I’m in.”

Thrash Metal, n. – someone who is noisy and full of shit. (Suggested by Guy Adams) “Do not invite your neighbor to my potluck. He’s thrash metal all the way.”

Folk, adj. – 1. ineffective; 2. malodorous. “Oh, that’s my cousin. He’s a folk musician.”

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1 Comment

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One response to “Don’t Smooth Jazz Yourself

  1. Aja

    Smooth jazz makes me sick to my stomach. Literally. If someone puts it on in the car, I’ll need them to pull over shortly.

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