My South by Southwest

South by Southwest is very intimidating for the rookie. It’s taken me ten hours and eight beers, but I finally pored over the list of panels, parties, and after-party panels; I have my schedule. The following is a tentative list of what’s in store for me next week in Austin.

  • Will We Still Be Using Questions in Panel Titles? A Look Ahead to SXSW 2014
  • The Moleskine Lounge: Demo the hot app for 2011, the Moleskine notepad app. (Only $9.99!)
  • Foursquare Cash Cab with Naveen
  • Seth Godin’s Keynote: Bloodied Spears, or When Tribes Go Too Far at the Weekend Team-Building Retreat
  • I’ve been told by several people to avoid the Five Loko Beta Testing Party (including a very regretful Alice Cooper). Still: tempted.
  • The 2009 Retro Room, Presented by AOL: Sit on couches, talk about the recession, and charge your AT&T iPhone 3Gs.
  • Super Secret Reading by Thomas Pynchon. Cancelled.
  • Rumor has it that the Internet Academy is announcing new character and alphanumerics for URLs. I’m standing in line at 4am to register www.!.com.
  • Some guy named Doc Brown is hyping after-market accessories for vintage 1980s cars. I don’t know much about it, but he plans on putting his dog in the front seat, then slamming on the accelerator or something. People in 2021 said it was impressive.
  • The Crazy Derek Austin Walking Tour, to be wirelessly transmitted into participants’ ears through loud screaming by an inebriated elderly man.
  • The Absolut Vomitorium. (RSVP now!)
  • Wordr Demo, a desktop program that removes the “e” from every -er suffix in your emails, Word documents, and PDFs.
  • The Toyota Allosaurus Shuttle: The Japanese auto manufacturer will provide complimentary transportation between Austin’s hottest bars and restaurants from 8am to 10pm daily, via lab-built late Jurassic abominations of science exclusive to SXSW Interactive. To be followed by the Guy Fieri “Sauce-O-Saurus” Mountain Dew BBQ on the 15th.

I’ll post pictures throughout.

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