Wherein I Explain My Job Using a Dating Metaphor

At potlucks, parties, and jury duty smoke breaks, people ask me what I do. It’s difficult to explain. I work in online marketing for a major trade publisher, but with an emphasis on new media and digital experimentation. What does that mean? Perhaps my handy guide, using the extended metaphor of dating in New York, will add clarity to the matter.

Analytics
You love your baggy grey hoody. Analytics can not only quantify how often you wear it (3 days/week) but the incidence of usage cross-indexed against successful pickup attempts at bars (0%). Stop wearing the grey hoody when hitting on girls.

Online Publicity
Have a profile on Nerve.com? JDate? Craigslist personals? Now imagine your wang is a debut novel about secrets among generations in hardscrabble 19th-century West Virginia. (And your genitals earned an M.F.A. from Columbia.)

Review Coverage, Pre-Pub
“Ned? He’s cool, he works in video game testing I think, and he’s in a post-punk band. He’ll be at my party on Saturday. You should definitely hook up with him.”

Review Coverage, Post-Pub
“Jeff told you about Ned, right? He’s apparently really good at making out. He dated Jeanine for a while, and she said he drove her wild. You should definitely hook up with him at the party.”

Search Engine Optimization
This one’s all about visibility. The person with the highest visibility gets all the attention, right? Get out on that dance floor, go nuts. Tony Manero is basically Wikipedia here.

New Media
Stalking Vetting your date by Googling her name.

Mobile Media
Drunk texting.

Email Marketing
Broadly, this is about maintaining a relationship with your audience, especially useful in indicating the availability of your next title. Like when you change your relationship status on Facebook.

Bookseller Co-Op
“Hey, I’m out of cash. Spot me a beer? I’ll get you later.”

add to del.icio.us : add to furl : Digg it : Stumble It! : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook

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